More than the Sum of its Parts

Saturday was the NAC conference championships at Wisconsin Lutheran. We went in with some intricate battle plans, a little warpaint, and a lot of guts. The meet itself was an experience; several of the guys were sick, including Ryan and Danny, and the women were underdogs right from the start. I personally took a digger in the first 2 miles, losing my footing and crashing to the ground in the middle of the woods. I'm not sure what happened; I just remember planting my left foot and then finding myself sliding through the dirt while Kelby screamed at me from behind to get back up. The incident left me a bit scraped, bleeding, and dirty, but I managed to catch back up to Fife and Richard to finish the race.

As the overall results came in we were all pretty anxious. Despite some uncertain performances and a protest from one of the opposing coaches we managed to pull off the win-on BOTH SIDES. The guys took it by a mere 3 points, which is extremely satisfying after having lost by 3 last year. Hats off to Braun, who moved up with his best race of the season to fill in for those who were ill. Without him we couldn't have done it. The women ended up winning by about 15 points thanks to solid races from Jamie, Maxine, and Caitlyn. Ultimately it turned out to be the injured, the sick, and the come-from-behind overachievers who won the day. As we all hugged and cheered after the awards I felt something strange start to course through my body. It was at this time that I finally realized I'd run my last race with CUW cross country. Never again would I get to put on that uniform.

Just a few months ago I was hopelessly crippled by mysterious injuries and contemplating quitting the team for good. Now I'm running 45 miles a week, and I'm a champion. A TEAM champion. We won. We did it together.

The season is over for me competitively, but there's still Regionals in another week or so. And I'm the unofficial team Motivator. Time to get my speechwriting on.

P.S.

Track starts November 29

The Monster Lives

This weekend the team went to Wisconsin Lutheran for the Pre-NAC meet. The weather was great, a cool 50 degrees with a warm sun that peeked out from behind the clouds every once in a while. It was great to test out the course that we'll be competing on at conference in a few weeks, but for some of us this meet had far greater importance.

Pfeuffer and I raced for the first time since February. I mean honestly, everything-or-nothing, fast-as-you-can-go RACED. After sitting on the sidelines for so many months I think the both of us needed to get out there and compete more than anything else in the world. I did my best to put together as inspiring of a pre-race speech as I could muster, focusing on giving the glory to God and remembering where all of our successes come from. Minutes later the gun had gone off and we were kicking some major grass.

I had planned to shoot for a 6-minute mile pace in the hopes of breaking 30 minutes. I was able to hover just over that for the first 3 miles, hanging with Muffenbeck and eventually pulling away to catch up with Daniel. At the 3 mile mark I could feel the fatigue but knew I had yet to summon the monster, the ace in the hole that's always guaranteed to save you some time in the end. I attacked the pace and tried to get Daniel to go with me but he couldn't seem to keep up. With about one mile left I found myself catching up to Kolbach, who I quickly passed. He managed to hang in there though, just as I'd hoped, and the two of us pushed all the way through to the finish. Kolbach ended up finishing a couple dozen meters or so in front of me as my legs shut down in the final minutes. The monster came out in just about full force, getting me to the line and leaving me there feeling as if I might drop at any second. I haven't been so sick, so sore, and so tired at the end of a race in a LONG time (but then, I haven't finished a race at all in a long time). My final time was 29:48. Not bad for starting camp week at 2 miles a day.

I wasn't the only one who had a good day. Ash won the meet as the 2nd overall finisher (one unattached guy got him in the last mile) with a time of 25:55. Jon O and Braun both dropped a huge amount of time to get into the low 29-minute range. Ryan and TJ also did great by cranking out some mid-28s.

After waiting around for what seemed like forever, due to a course confusion that resulted in the disqualification of the top 18 female finishers, it was announced that our men's team had taken 2nd and the women had won the meet. We crushed all of the NAC teams in attendance and proved to ourselves that this team, this family, can accomplish everything we set out to do back in August.

And for a smaller, frustrated-yet-patient group of us known as Cripple Command, it was proven that no matter what happens, THE MONSTER NEVER DIES.

Falcon Invite

I feel like I have been neglecting this blog a lot lately. Here's an update on what's been going on with the team recently:

Last Friday we debuted at Olivet Nazarene. The meet went well for the most part. A lot of the guys and girls had good races, but a few people ended up getting hurt. We've had quite a crowd in the athletic training room lately but hopefully everyone's health will be up to par soon.

Last night I had everybody over for a pasta dinner in order to fuel up for the Falcon Invite this morning. The meet itself was a pretty big success. I got to put on my spikes for the first time since February and was able to break in my new uniform, although Russ wouldn't let me race. I ended up doing a "tempo" that was probably closer to race effort. I clocked in at 30:40, which was surprisingly fast in my opinion considering the less-than-full effort and the fact that I've been out for the better part of a year. The hip flexor felt great as well and that old achilles issue has long cleared up. One other injury, a sore shin muscle, hasn't prevented me from running due to the fact that I run on my toes.

Fife got out there today too. He's become my "wingman," since the two of us were both injured all summer and are trying to make a comeback together. It feels so good to have a teammate at your side when you're dealing with a battle such as rehabbing and getting back into shape.

On the reverse side of the injury issue is Andy, who was unable to run today due to plantar fascia pain. He'll be back soon enough though. That guy is a beast. He ran 25:30 something at our first meet last friday.

Other notable results for the race this morning include Guppy, who won the small school division, Stacey, who was 2nd on the team and put up a great performance, and the entire women's team as a whole, who took home the 1st place trophy! Some of the guys ran great as well, such as Ben (our first finisher) and freshman Martin (aka Steve, Marco, Polo, Polio, Virus...he's a man of many names). Overall it was a pretty good day.

Next week: Griak! Get your battle stripes ready.

Another Beginning

The 2010 cross country season is under way and the team is looking fantastic. The guys have a solid core group of returning veterans with some serious training under their belts, while the women's recruiting class has got to be one of the best ever. I'm stuck in training group E with the other out-of-shape and injured guys, but things are finally starting to look up again after a couple months of setbacks. My hip flexor is finally getting back to where it should be and an achilles issue from last week turned out to be just a minor nuisance. Some ice and a massive heel wedge managed to take care of it and keep me out on the roads. I'm up to 3-4 miles a day now and am slowly getting back into shape.

Classes start tomorrow morning and I'm not really sure if I'm ready or not. I took care of most of my hardest classes last year so this semester shouldn't be too much of a burden. Still, it feels strange to close the book on this summer. The cycle of seasons continues.

Do Not Put Out the Spirit's Fire

Over the past couple of weeks I've been trying to stay focused, putting in a lot of hours on the bike and elliptical while also getting back to running a few miles here and there. I'm in pretty good shape overall and just need to get my running legs back into gear before mid semester rolls around. Summer is winding down, although I've still had time for a few adventures. This past Friday I drove down to Clinton to spend the night with Dave and Muff at the annual "Gasfest" that their friends have been putting on for years. There were some pretty big fires involved and a little bit of questionable judgement, but for the most part everyone was pretty responsible and nobody was hurt (besides a few minor burns). It turned out to be a really good time. The next morning Dave took me out for a six mile run as we toured the entire neighborhood and surrounding countryside, including downtown, cornfields, an industrial park, and a nice off-road trail. Next weekend I'm heading up north with Ash and a couple of old friends to hang out in the supposedly-haunted woods.

There's less than two weeks remaining before the start of training camp and it's more important now than ever that I (and everyone else) stay in the right state of mind. One of my favorite Bible verses is 1 Thessalonians 5:19. It reads "Do not put out the Spirit's fire." You need to pursue your goal, your passion, with a fire that never goes out, no matter obstacles rise up against you, or you'll never find out if you can succeed. Believe in that Spirit, and impossibility is only an opinion.

More Unexplained Pain

The past three weeks have been a bit of a struggle. My hip/groin have been sore and tight courtesy of Lapham Peak, causing me to run only off and on along with alternating bike workouts and days off. The soreness is fading away veeeeery sloooooooowly but it seems to be making progress as long as I don't overtrain. I'm trying not to worry about it. Simply being able to run this summer is a pretty good reason to be happy.

Despite the progress I've made, however, my body continues to rebel in the strangest of ways. Last night I decided to go out for a walk after a cold front passed through and the air temp had dropped to levels more comfortable than those in the apartment. Everything felt fine until I was about a mile away, when suddenly my entire right thigh began to ache. The pain covered my leg from the knee to the hip and was deep, like my quads, hamstring, knee, and groin were just tearing apart. I tried stretching and then just ignoring the sensation in the hopes that it would go away, but instead it only got worse. I ended up hobbling up Falls Road to 17th Avenue, where I caught Ash out walking the dog. We went over to his house to discuss our elaborate plans for halloween costumes (which are going to be amazing by the way) and my throbbing leg gradually settled down throughout the night. The entire episode was somewhat disturbing, but I really don't know why I should bother getting it checked out. I already know what the experts are going to say...that they don't know anything. I'm getting my sports physical in a couple of days though, so I'll probably bring it up anyway. Ranting about my body's issues makes the frustration more bearable even if it doesn't soothe the pain.

Heat Wave

Yesterday was brutal. I stepped out into the 97 degree weather thinking I could run 10 miles no problem. I knew I was very well hydrated and well rested. I laced up the shoes and hit the road.

Not 3 miles into the run and I knew I was in for a tough one. I had accounted for the fact that the pavement I was running on brought the surface temp. up another 5-10 degrees. My sweat was evaporating as soon as it was on my skin. It didn't even have time to do its job to cool me off. I kept going, thinking I would be fine. I finally came to the 8 mile mark and I had to stop. I collapsed into the grass in some shade and just laid there while I waited for my body to cool. After about 5 minutes I got back up. It wasn't the last time I would have to stop. Five more times I had to go stand, sit, or lay in the shade to get my resolve up to finish out my run. When I finally reached the air conditioning of my home my sweat began to flow like a river. It was amazing that being out in the dry heat like that had made it seem as though I wasn't even sweating. I took down a few glasses of water and chocolate milk and jumped into the pool.

Hillz

Yesterday I went out around 5 PM to do hills. After running around town for about 20 minutes I made my way to the bottom of Falls Road, the largest hill in town, and dashed to the top 4 times. I was surprised at how fast I was able to go. It feels like my body isn't in quite that bad of shape after all. Or maybe it was just a good day. The cool, cloudy weather was quite a relief after running in warmer conditions over the past few weeks. Heat really tears me down, and I often find that my best races are run when everyone is complaining that it's too cold.

By the time I'd finished the hills and run back to my apartment it had been about 40 minutes total. My leg is a bit sore today, but I'm not concerned about it. I can walk perfectly fine and it isn't jumping around like it used to, more of a constant soreness this time. If there's one thing I've learned over the past 7 months it's not to worry over injuries. Sometimes you simply need to ignore the little pains, and once you forget about them they'll go away. If you obsess over it needlessly you could make it drag on forever. At least that's how it seems to work for me.

But we all know that I'm an enigma.

"Keep Stuff Out"

It's not a shoe. It's more like a part of my foot. 5 miles in these things feels so much better than clomping around in mud-caked boots. I only wish we had some decent trails around here.

Sometimes you need to run before you can walk

Sometimes things just don't work out the way they're supposed to. Sometimes conventional wisdom is wrong.

The past weeks have been a bit of an unexpected experience. After the longest stretch of rest I've taken in 5 years, I came to the realization that my leg simply wasn't getting better. At all.

The next course of action was to seek additional medical assistance. I managed to get an appointment with a sports physician at the hospital across the street from CUW. Upon going in for my appointment, however, the experts seemed just as perplexed as the AT's back at school. They took an X-Ray of my lower leg, which showed nothing abnormal. No stress fractures, no other bone issues. Next I was sent for an MRI. When I took these scans in for the docs to see what was going on all they could say was that my leg looked "healthy."

I took this as confirmation that there was actually nothing seriously wrong with me. No one could explain the pain I was feeling or how to treat it. The docs suggested sending me back for the same physical therapy that had already failed after causing me so much unnecessary pain and frustration, followed by a test for "compartment syndrome." This test would have involved sticking me with very large needles and making me run on a treadmill as hard as possible for 15 minutes. They assumed that test would come back negative since I didn't actually present the symptoms of compartment syndrome, but they wanted to do it anyway. They planned to follow that up with a blind surgery, the purpose of which they could not even explain to me. I was utterly astounded at how eager these so-called "doctors" were to abuse me with no real plan for fixing anything.

Having had enough of this, I chose to shun the medical industry once and for all and just started running again.

After a week of resumed training at 4-5 miles per day, I realized that it wasn't getting any worse. In fact it is getting better. Running, rather than causing the pain as everyone had expected all along, is actually healing me. I'm getting stronger every day, and the pain now seems barely noticeable.


Last weekend I went to Lapham Peak with a group of my fellow runners. I opted for the tiny Blue Trail rather than the 9 miles of hills that the other guys hammered out, but running trails again was a major moral victory for me. Knowing that my leg can survive that type of terrain is proof to me that my body is not falling apart but simply needed to be woken up, reminded about what it was designed to do. Dark clouds threatened most of that day but the rain never hit us. Driving home late in the afternoon we caught sight of a brilliant rainbow spread across the eastern horizon.

What are teammates for?

Today I ran my first 5k in a year. Needless to say, it was not the greatest. However, I was able to grind through it thanks to my wonderful teammates who came to help push me along. Dave, Lucas, Jade, and Ben all came out to the track to help push me along as I worked through the race against my greatest opponent, myself. The mind is a powerful thing. It can make or break you in a race. Today, I would say that my mind prevailed. I was able to push myself, but I know I could have gone faster. Despite this, I have to give a huge thank you to my teammates and friends who came out and didn't let me quit. I don't think I could have run the time I did without them there.

The semester is in a full gallop. Its end is quickly approaching. It's time to dig in and fight. It's nice to know I don't have to do it alone though. Despite all the injuries that they have sustained, the team is able to stick together. The monster can be beaten and trod upon, but never defeated as long as the team is one.

The End

I quit the team yesterday. I've had enough of the athletic trainers' painful therapies. I've decided to just let go and give my body a break from everything. In the meantime I'll focus on getting some schoolwork done over the next two weeks. Russ seemed to agree with the decision, although the look of defeat on his face made me feel kind of bad. They've all tried so hard over the past 4 months...my coaches, trainers, doctors, and teammates...and in a way I feel like I've let them down. I failed to be the athlete they needed me to be. I will be back however. I don't know when my leg will return to its glorious self, but I'm confident that time will come.

What is that thing they like to say? When you love something, sometimes you just need to let it go and see if it comes back. Hmm. I suppose it's time to find out if that really works. I still believe. Do you?


This is Lucas, signing off.

But only for a while...

me 2

I've been meaning to post something positive to counteract everyone-else's depressing posts in the last few weeks....but what can I say...my running hasnt been goin great either...hahah. ahhh well....If you can beat em, you might as well join em right?

After spring break, I had been sick for a loooong time. I coughed soooooo MUCh. it was disgusting. it wasnt even productive coughing, just a dry horrible hack. the only positive thing that came out of it was that I gave myself a good ab workout. haha.

Then easter came and I FINALLY felt better after being home a few days. The next week I just focused on getting back into running and i seemed to snap right back. BUT, sadly to say, after racing on Saturday and then doing a long run the next day, my knee has been acting up again. And I now feel drained of energy more so than ever.

When my knee first started hurting, Russ and I thought for sure it would heal up in a couple weeks. Now, over a YEAR later, it still bugs me. :o( I have decided that this will just be something I am going to live with...

ok. now for something positive:

Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. (Isaiah 40:28-31)

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)

Pain and Fatigue

My body is finally beginning to succumb to fatigue. I feel as if my legs are going to fall off. My knee started to hurt constantly today. I can't even sit without feeling irritation. My legs are just constantly tired. This isn't a problem that I have had before, but I suspect it has something to do with my sleeping schedule. I haven't been sleeping great for two weeks now, and I think it is finally beginning to take its toll. I just need to get back on track and hopefully all will fall in place.

Yeah...

Somehow I've managed to develop new injuries while not even running. All this low-impact cross training seems to be destroying my knees and calves. Now I am not only unable to run, but also can hardly make it down the stairs. Buck gave me a massage in the AT room today that was just as painful as the Graston sessions Jenny used to perform, even without the metal instruments. I'm starting to doubt whether I'll ever be able to run again.

Crunch Time

It never ends. The seemingly insurmountable pile of homework that is piled in front of me. Everything always happens at once it seems. Just when you feel you can't possibly become anymore stressed, something comes along and kicks you while you're down. It seems not even running can help alleviate the stress that comes along with school and other things. I feel terrible about today because I missed my run. I had to miss practice to meet with my advisor on and unyielding matter that needed immediate attention in the whirlwind that has become my life. There are still two hours in the day, perhaps I can push aside some homework to squeeze in a short run. Today would have been an awesome day to run, although Jon and Ben came back with reports of howling winds, stinging rain, and over all bitter cold. I enjoy running in the rain. There is something refreshing about it. Anyways, I need to get back to my homework. I know the top of the mountain is reachable, I just need to fix my mind on the task at hand and let nothing draw me away, such as this blog. Until next time...Live long and prosper.

(Oh, and He is Risen! He is Risen indeed! Alleluia!)

Sweat Machine

Today I went up to the fitness room early to get my crosstraining done after work. A repairman was up there fixing some of the ellipticals and bikes. He was planning on doing some work on my machine too, but I was sweating so much that he changed his mind. I tried to clean up the mess but he said just forget it:

"It's nothing personal, but you'd need a mop and bucket for that. I'm not gonna sit in that crap and fix the machine."

I got a few kicks out of the experience. Gave the guy an excuse to skip out of the job early I guess.

Done for the Season

Greetings from the asylum. After more than a month without any real significant running I am finally going insane. Russ has me cross training until all pain is entirely gone, plus another two weeks after that. In other words I'm going to be in the SwimEx until late April at the earliest. This semester is getting rough, as a seemingly endless supply of research papers combined with the loss of my primary source of stress relief are slowly tearing me apart.

And to all of you who used to think I was anorexic, I've finally figured out how to gain weight: STOP RUNNING. I've packed on about 15 pounds in the past month alone. I'm not especially proud of that, considering that I was never underweight to begin with (no matter what Ash and the rest of the crew think) and every extra ounce exponentially increases the amount of pressure on my legs and joints. That equates to an increased risk of injury, which as you all know is EXACTLY what I want right now.

Good luck to the guys competing in St. Louis. I'll keep the cross trainers warm for you.

One step at a time...

Today I got to run 2 miles! I did the first 10 minutes barefoot on the grass at school and it felt fantastic! I even bumped into Ash, who was finishing up his 12 mile long run. I had to put my shoes back on for the last 6 minutes however to avoid beating up the soles of my feet too much. They need to toughen up a bit before I'll be able to run very far without getting blisters. Putting shoes back on felt terrible after 10 minutes of foot freedom; it felt like I was wearing combat boots and I could tell my footfalls were different, more awkward. My leg started to hurt just a tiny bit as well. I'm not sure if it has anything to do with my shoes or simply the fact that I had been running for a couple miles. Anyway, I hope to be back to running on a daily basis soon, but it might be another week still. We'll see.

Let the races begin...

This weekend was my first race back with the team. It was a short 1500, but I could still tell I was out of shape. My speed just wasn't there. I guess it was a decent time (4:39) for coming back with almost no speed workouts under my belt, but I was still disappointed. Others had good races though. Ashenden had an epic kick at the end of his 1500 to take the win, and Muffenbeck came from nowhere and finished with a 4:34. It was fun to be back with the team at the meet. I am looking forward to what will be a fun track season.

Going Tribal

Another week in the SwimEx. I've been really trying to work it lately, pushing my body to its limit in the pool to take advantage of the low-impact training. My leg, while slowly getting better, is not in a hurry to repair itself completely; I figure I'll be back in another 5-10 days, but who knows. I've accepted the fact that this season is pretty much over competitively, and now I just want to return to running so I can get back in shape and have some fun. The limits placed on my training over the past few weeks have given me a lot of time to think, and I've come to realize a few things:

1. I have been injured more or less continually for the past 16 months.

2. These injuries are all chronic, over-use injuries. I nearly always have at least one at any given time, sometimes multiple.

3. Russ and the athletic trainers have put me through every treatment imaginable in the attempt to fight off these injuries, yet nothing but old fashioned ice has had any effect.

4. I've also been guided towards the use of increasingly more supportive and well-cushoined (not to mention more expensive) shoes, as well as insoles, arch supports, heel gel cushoins, etc.

5. Despite the increase in technology put into my shoes and treatments, I'm getting hurt more frequently and for longer periods.


After putting all this together I've made a conclusion: None of it is helping.




I'm currently reading the best selling book, Born to Run, by Christopher McDougall. This fascinating (and highly entertaining) tale recounts the experiences of the author as he ran the treacherous trails and cliffs of Mexican no-man's-land, slowly transforming himself from a tall, gangly injury-magnet into an ultramarathoner. He's joined by a small crew of runners from all over the country, each expressing their love for the sport in unique and colorful ways. There's a couple of California surfers who spend their days running along the beach while listening to Beat poetry, a vegan champion known for his primal screams at the start of every race, a trainer who's coached ordinary people into superathletes, and a seemingly crazy barefoot fanatic who deftly picks his way through the trickiest of terrain while relying on nothing but the natural design of his feet. They are all led by a mysterious man whom the Mexicans call the "White Horse," an American who left everything behind to live among a tribe of running machines hiding in seclusion deep within canyons visited by few outsiders other than the occasional drug traffickers. The group hopes to link up with these tribesmen for a 50 mile race that no one would watch.



I haven't finished the book yet, but it's already pointed something out to me: If you really want to be great at running, you need to love it. You need to live it. You need to become a runner. Running is not what you do. It's who you are.



Faced with the fact that all the modern sports science has failed, I've decided to throw it all away. I'm starting over with a clean slate. As of this moment I'm overhauling my diet, going back to the more or less vegetarian cuisine that I used to love in my high school days. I'm getting rid of processed carbs, or processed anything for that matter, and focusing more on whole grains, fruits, and vegetables. When I finally ease back into running, I'm ditching my expensive Brooks Glycerins and the high arch supports in favor of...my feet. I'm going barefoot as much as possible, weather and conditions permitting. I might even try to dig up a cheap pair of generic running shoes with as little cushoining as possible. I'm going to be the best teammate I can be. I'm going to stop worrying so much about my own performance and just enjoy the ride. I'm going against the flow, rebelling against everything my coaches and trainers have taught me over the past few years, and seeing what happens. I'm not going to train. I'm going to run. I'm going to be who I want to be, not who scientists and coaches and all the "experts" tell me to be. I'm might end up going to nationals next year, or I might end up exactly where I am now. I'm just going to do it, and I'll find out how things work as I go along.

Let the revolution begin.

I sat on the edge of the table in a cramped room within the campus athletic training facilities, listening to Coach Russ, Jenny, and the team physician discuss my inability to heal. Three months after the onset of pain and my right peroneal tendon was still causing the same problems it did before the season even began. Ten days without running had left me mentally depressed and it didn't seem that anything would change soon. My fears came true as the Doc looked at me and essentially said what I already knew: "You have an injury, but I don't know exactly what it is or how to fix it. Let it rest."

This was the scene earlier today as I spent the latter half of the afternoon being worried over by my ever-more-distraught athletic support staff. Months of painful, bruising massages, electrocution, icing, heating, and even lasers have reseulted in no progress whatsoever. The athletic trainers, having finally exhausted all available options, are giving up. From here on I'll be spending my days in the SwimEx pool, trying to retain some sort of fitness while my body slowly repairs itself and returns to full health. Time is the only medicine I have left.

And so I wait. Yet again, as another season slips away into the obscurity of injury and unrealized expectations, I shall pass under the radar. This situation has become so routine by now I can hardly believe my own faith in the monster that still resides within me. And I do believe in it still. It is there, waiting, steaming and sizzling and building its rage. It will never go away, no matter how many injuries and illnesses and mediocre performances may curse my career. The body grows weak, tires, and breaks, but the monster never dies.

I will be back, and the past three seasons will be avenged.

Working So Hard Yet Going Nowhere

March brings warmer days, sunny skies, and the promise of spring. High school athletes are just starting their track seasons, while us college folks are wrapping up the indoor half and starting outdoor, the "real" track season. A couple new individuals have joined us and the team is out running in shorts on a daily basis now thanks to temperatures in the 40's. Perfect running weather.

I only wish I could take advantage of it.

I've been reduced to no running whatsoever, a final attempt by Russ and the athletic trainers to eliminate my peroneal issues. While my teammates are out enjoying the warm weather I'm stuck indoors, huffing away on the elliptical. My daily trial of sweat and stagnant motion has become a saga of sorts, the story of a season going downhill from its very first week. After dropping steadily since the beginning of December, my weekly mileage has finally levelled off at zero. I've watched as nearly all of my fellow runners have sustained injuries of their own, nursed them, healed, and returned to the roads and the track only to be replaced by others. Some of them have come and gone multiple times, yet always I remain, sentinel of the fitness center. I've run the full circle of abuses in the training room, suffering electrocution, bruising, freezing, and burning at the hands of students and their superiors alike, each trying to find a way of forcing my leg into healing. Numerous painful sessions of the so-called Graston "Massage" have left my lower leg discolored from internal bleeding for the past several weeks, all in the name of re-injuring tissue to jumpstart the healing process, and all to no avail. Ultrasound sessions that had no effect in January are now being tried once again, along with the application of lasers. Yes, lasers. I didn't even know there was such a thing as laser therapy. Apparently Jenny, Buck, and Russ have exhausted all available options and are now trying whatever random techniques they can think of that may or may not have anything at all to do with a chronically sore peroneal tendon. The doctor is coming in later this week to look at me, and there's a 90% chance he'll suggest a heel wedge-which won't work of course, because we've already tried three different heel wedges. And because they never work. The only treatment thus far that has had any real noticeable effect is the simple ice bath, which I rarely get a chance to use because they drain it before I'm finished working out and getting all my other treatments. I've more or less come to terms with the fact that I'll never be healthy again, and that as long as I continue running I will always carry at least one chronic injury with me. Such is my fate.

I must be getting to bed now. Off to the fitness room at 8 am to give the elliptical machine its workout. I'm getting very good at that.

Survival Mode

This weekend was a brutal test of my body's endurance. Yesterday the NAC indoor track championships came bounding out of nowhere, catching me with a mild cold and chronically deprived of that very necessary thing called sleep. Add this to the fact that I was entered in multiple events for the first time this season and it turned out to be quite an exhausting experience.

I warmed up for the 5000 feeling a bit sick and anemic, having spent much of the day thus far in the bathroom. Nevertheless I managed to run a 16:54, only two seconds slower than my performance at River Falls two weeks ago. It definitely wasn't a terrible race, but I had hoped for something closer to 16:30 and a shot at scoring some points.

After the 5k I made a couple more trips to the restroom before cooling down just a few minutes and stretching in preparation for the mile. This second race, which started only an hour or so after the 5000, was not exactly a spectacular event. I felt my stomach twist in revolt as I jogged to the starting line with Ben, and after one failed starting attempt the officials managed to get us on our way. My legs began to go numb about 50 meters into the race and by the end of the first lap I couldn't feel much of anything, which turned out to be quite a blessing. Jon, Russ, Andy, and Twietmeyer cheered enthusiastically as I plodded along in last place, and it was their encouragement that prompted me to summon a sort of mini-monster in the final 400 meters and catch the two MSOE guys ahead of me. My final time of 5:06 was pathetic, yet not really that bad considering that I felt like I'd run 5:20. Ben managed to drop a 4:53 and take 7th, so we got a couple points out of the event. The rest of the team were all smiles as they greeted us at the finish line, but I made sure to tell them they'd enjoyed it much more than I did.

The rest of the day went by slowly as I alternated between bathroom breaks, cheering, and sitting in the corner holding my throbbing head. The meet culminated in an epic 4x400 showdown, as our women were locked in a virtual tie with two other teams for the overall championship. We ended up fading in the final stretch of the relay and lost the title by two points. The men's team had clinched first before the last two events even began. Revenge for losing in cross country last fall? Yes.

That pretty much sums up my weekend. Socks got into a highly entertaining dance-off with several of our opponents while we all waited for the awards ceremony, and I ended up going to bed at 10 pm. I haven't slept so well in ages.

POP quiz!

Here is my question: when you are in the middle of running a HARD 800 for your HARD workout on the road and some old lady drives up beside you asking for directions? Do you....

A) Keep running and ignore her...because HEY! I have to get the time Russ wanted me to get on this 800! I can't stop now!

B) Try and give directions while you are still sprinting to your finish (shes in a car...she could drive along while you explain how to get to Concordia...)

C) Stop and help the old lady...come on...its a poor old lady!!!!

well...this happened on Tuesday to me...so what do you think I did? ahha. yeah your right. Im nice so I stopped...but, I ALMOST kept goin...I kind of pointed in the direction and kept running...then I realized how stupid I was being and I stopped and walked back to her car window and talked to her. haha. ahhhh. you never know who you will run into on your running adventures! But if an old lady ever stops you and asks for help, well, sorry Russ, but sometimes you need to earn your brownie points for the day!

:)

Weary Feet

Hello again, it's me. I haven't posted here in a while so I thought I'd squeeze in a few words before 2:10 class.



Things have been rough lately. I'm running about 4 miles a day and substituting large amounts of cross training (elliptical mostly) for the lack of high mileage. The results? I managed another PR in the 5000 this past weekend at "Iowa State" (otherwise known as UW River Falls). We were supposed to go to Iowa for a two-day meet but found out at the last minute that we weren't accepted there, so the coaches scrambled to get us into another meet. It turned out ok with a number of good performances, although not everyone was happy with their marks. I'm exhausted right now, however, due to lack of sleep and working too hard on school. A lot of things have been weighing down recently and I know my body is taking a beating from all the stress. Yet the only thing I can do is keep on truckin. No matter what happens in life (short of a crippling lower body injury, that is) there's always another run waiting at some point in the day, always another chance to put aside the world's problems for an hour. You can run through your issues, and running can make you live. At least that's how it works for me.


Sometimes you just need to survive. Not for yourself, but for the others who are watching you, knowing that if you can do it...maybe they can too.

Through Snow and Ice

I groaned as my alarm went off. "Why must I get up?" I thought to myself. I then remembered. SNOW!!! I rushed out of bed and flung open the curtains hoping to see a substantial amount of glittering white snow on the ground. I was disappointed. While there was a fair accumulation on the ground, I wasn't seeing the amount of snow I hoped for. It was snowing fairly heavily, but there was not enough on the ground to constitute no school. My hopes for a snow day quickly faded into a simmering resentment that I had to go out and run in the extremely windy and snowy weather. I knew that it meant that I would be cold, and my skin would soon be stinging from the hundreds of tiny ice shards whipping through the air on their way to the ground.

I walked out of my room and found Twietmeyer sitting on the couch watching T.V. "I don't want to run!" I complained to him. He simply looked at me and said, "I don't want to hear it." He was right. Here he was injured, unable to run, and I, uninjured, was perfectly capable of running. I hate it when he's right. (Which is nearly all of the time.) I muttered some retort back to him and closed the door to my room to get changed. "This run can't be to bad," I thought to myself. I put on a couple of layers, laced up the shoes and walked out the door.

I walked into the field house hoping Lucas was still there. I was running five minutes late, and I was relieved to see his that his bags were not yet there. Not long after I arrived, I saw Lucas striding across the parking lot, bags and shoes in hand, fighting the strong winds that were coming off of the lake. He walked in the door, shaking the snow off of him. Kleinowski also happened to be returning from his run. He suggested to us that we run north, as the roads had just been plowed in that direction. I looked at Lucas. "Let's do this!" I exclaimed. We were out the door.

The first thing I noticed was the cold, then the wind, then the snow. I felt tiny knives digging into my face as hundreds of little snow flakes bombarded me furiously on their mad decent. We started off immediately. Our pace was slow, but that was OK. There was no way we were going to be able to run a decent fartlek workout in this weather. As we progressed along on our run, the roads continued to get worse and worse. The snow was quickly accumulating on the road, and mixing with the melted snow to create a treacherous slush. I started to slip and slide down the side of the road, and fought the wind several times to get back up to the road.

Our conversation began to dwell on robots and the possibilities of a future cyborg and human race. We spoke of genetic engineering and the possibilities of a real life Jurassic Park. The wind and tiny ice shards continued to buffet us as we ran along, but our exciting conversation drew our attention away from them. Before I knew it, we were already turning back into campus. It is amazing how fast a run can go by when you are having a good conversation. (As Lucas and I always do.)

We ran up to the field house, bringing to an end our epic run. Despite my complaining earlier that morning, I was extremely happy we went out. There is something about running in snow or rain that is refreshing, despite the unpleasant thought of it. Running always brings about a sense of refreshment. This particular morning, that refreshment was won, through snow and ice.

Left Behind

Today the team was off to Stevens Point to run at a track meet there. While I must say that I don't envy the fact that they had to get up early to leave at 6 am, I did feel a certain emptiness not going with them. Things were pretty quiet around the school. I spent a large portion of my day playing the organ and doing homework. The other half of my day I just played computer games. The only human contact I had all day was when I bumped into Rachel S. in the hallway for about 2 minutes. Needless to say, I was happy to see Dave and Andy get back.
I put aside a portion of the afternoon to do some running myself. I went up to the fitness center and started up the good old human hamster wheel. It was far to windy outside to get in a decent mile time. I still could have done it outside, but once again laziness took hold of me. I came away with the decent time of 5:09. I figured that even if I didn't have anyone to push me along, I could still crank up the treadmill to a 5:10 pace and just leave it there to force my body to run that pace.

Today was just a weird day. I have had a lot on my mind recently and it all came to fruition today. Running really helped me work out some stress. The organ following that helped a little as well. Running is one of those ultimate cures to stress. I always find that if I am feeling cruddy, I can lace up the shoes and head out for a run and come away feeling at least a little better. My mind is so much clearer while I am grinding out the miles. Thank God for the gift of running!

Well, I must be getting up in a few hours to welcome the new day, so that does it for this log.

Live long and prosper.

girl POWER!

Oh yeah! lets get some female perspective on this MONSTER BLOG. (notice I made this purple***one of the top 10 colors in spring 2010 fashion) haha. ok enough about fashion. im here to express my love of running...and to prove that GIRLS have a monster too! here goes my first post!

Nothing too extreme has happened on my runs this week. Although I did talk to Rachel S. today who said that she was chased by a dog yesterday for about a half mile while she was running north...I had a similar experience going north earlier in the fall...but the doggie didnt follow me very far. He just kind of looked at me weird (just like all the people in the cars that drive past us).

I think being chased by a dog is something all great runners must go through...some kind of rite of passage. I guess to a dog, we are the next best thing than the mail man.

I would really like it if my dog at home would run with me! His name is Buddy. and he is an energetic soft coat wheaten terrier. Although he is very hyper and definitely has the energy to burn, he just won't stick with me when I try to get him to run with me. He will be excited at first and start prancing next to me...and then he will bound off ahead without me, but stop to sniff at EVERY tree. hmm. :( I think he is suited more for a sprinter than a distance person such as myself.

Speaking of sprinters..I Overheard some of the sprinters on the team talkin today...they said "Man, I don't know how people run more than 2miles without music or somthin." haha. I guess distance runners are a different breed. I think both the sprinters and my dog have ADD.

:) Happy Thursday!

Another Round in the Torture Chamber

Yesterday I had a date with Jenny in the athletic training room. She put me through my third session of the "Graston technique," which basically means she beat up my leg with a bunch of metal tools. The purpose of the procedure is to re-injure the tissue and destroy scar tissue so that it can heal properly. It's painful. The first time I had it done I was so sore I had trouble walking later in the night and had to skip running the next day. This time it didn't hurt as bad as the last two, but I've still got some bruises down my lower leg. I actually was able to go out and run a 4 mile fartlek workout only two hours afterwards without much trouble.

Despite all the persistent injuries however, I've somehow managed to keep improving my performances. I dropped a new PR in the 3000 last Friday with a time of 9:42. I'm not sure if it's all the cross training I've been doing or simply the fact that I'm still in shape from off-season training in November/December. Whatever it is though I'm not counting on slowing down anytime soon. We're heading to Stevens Point for a meet this Saturday and I want a 4:40 in the mile. We'll see what happens.

The Human Hamster Wheel

As I find myself unable to sleep, I have decided to give this whole blogging thing a try, as Lucas has graciously added me as an author on his blog.
I have been getting back on track with my running, albeit slow, after regrettably taking a week and a half break while at home. Today I gave into the pressure i was feeling to stay inside and run. I begrudgingly stepped up to the dreaded treadmill to grind out my first 8 mile run in some time. It went better than expected, though I was sweating bullets and was bored. I was not alone, however. I was able to run with Jade next to me, and Lucas not to far away busting out a monster on the elliptical. While I despise running on a treadmill, it was nice to get out of the cold for once. However, like a McDonald's hamburger, one run on the treadmill is enough to motivate me to stay off of it for awhile.
It has been great to be back with the team. I inevitably fail at running daily while I am at home. Having the team to run with helps out greatly. I can't wait to get out and race with them again.

Live long and prosper.

An Eventful Weekend

Friday's meet was somewhat of a success. They moved back the start time to 5:30 and then rearranged the schedule of events, so we didn't end up running until 7:30. Lack of dinner meant that most of us were pretty hungry by the time the event got underway. I managed to survive on a granola bar and some pretzels from the concessions stand.

The race itself was a lesson in confidence for me. I stuck behind Tyler, Danny, and Ben until the last few laps, when I finally outkicked them all to finish in around 9:42-a new PR (my first one since freshman year). I didn't quite get the 9:36 that Russ wanted, but I'm convinced that I could have. I waited too long to put it in gear, held too much for the end of the race. I just didn't trust myself enough. I once again underestimated by body's ability to move. But that's ok, because next time I'm not taking prisoners.

The highlight of the meet, howver, had to be Russ's performance in the mile (he switched from the 5k because nobody else was entered in that event). It was a blast to turn the tables on him and get to watch the coach run while us athletes stood on the sidelines. The look on Russ's face as he barrelled down the last 100 meters behind a frantically-sprinting teenager was priceless.


This weekend was also the annual Concordia Invitational basketball tournament. While the Parkside meet caused me to miss all of last night's events, I spent all day today working as a volunteer at the games. From 11 am to about 7 pm I sat at a table selling t-shirts and watching basketball games for free, then stuck around to see the CUW men win the championship against Nebraska. The Lorenzens were there to visit for the weekend so a few of us got to catch up with our old friends. They seem to be doing well down in Texas (although Micah did complain about the cold as we made a quick trip to Jimmy John's). All said and done, it was a pretty good couple of days.

Race Day Routine with Lucas

Hello there and welcome to the new Running Monsters blog! We've done some major changes in the past few days, including adding new authors to the monster team and updating the layout. I hope you all enjoy the new look!

Tonight the men's distance squad is travelling to UW Parkside to run the 3000 meters. We originally had off this weekend but Russ wants to get another race under our belts. Everyone has their own typical routine they like to follow on the day of a competition, so I thought I'd take you through mine.

I started the day off at 7:30 with a breakfast of fruit and fat-free yogurt. I like to load up on fruits the day of a race because they're full of carbohydrates and easy to digest. Some people think the fiber could be a problem but I never seem to have that issue. In fact, fruits are pretty much the only thing I can eat without any fear of digestive crisis. A couple classes later I grabbed a plate of pasta for lunch. Just enough to fuel the monster without weighing me down. After finishing this blog post I think I might go for a quick nap before we leave-30 minutes is all it takes to recharge the batteries a little bit and keep everything operating smoothly.

My normal race-day routine doesn't really differ that much from any other day. I make sure to eat the right foods in the right amounts at the right times, and always try to get plenty of sleep the night before, but other than that I just sort of stick with my everyday schedule. The idea is that I've already found out what works through daily trial and error, and I don't want to differ from that too much and make my body deal with a bunch of changes in the hours before the race. Hopefully it'll all work out tonight, because Russ wants me to run 9:36-an 11 second PR! My leg is still not quite "normal" but it's functional at least, so I'll see what I can do...

Under Construction

Lots of new changes coming to the blog soon! Stay tuned...

Still Waiting

After another weekend of cross training Russ finally let me test out my legs today. My right leg felt 100% and the left was only a bit tight on the side, so I went to the training room to get heated and then warmed up for 20 minutes on the elliptical. After that I ran 2 miles on the treadmill. Everything felt great for about 10 minutes, and then my right leg (the one that I'd thought was back to full health) started to get a little sore again. The left leg felt fine. I finished up another 20 minutes on the bike. Russ took out my most recent heel wedge and gave me some cushy gel supports instead, which feel nice and soft-the only problem is that I don't feel them when I'm actually running because my heels never touch the ground. I've explained this numerous times but the trainers all still seem to think that heel supports are somehow going to magically make a difference. At least they don't make anything worse, so I can't complain.

While I was sitting in the ice bath and talking to Fife about how I've hardly had a healthy moment the past year and a half, Russ walked in and started listening to the conversation. He said that maybe I can go back to training and ignore my leg as long as it doesn't get worse. That's exactly what I was thinking of doing. I've found that many of my injuries don't really "go away" after I've rested and allowed them to heal. They continue to provide small, noticeable (yet not hampering) pains for sometimes months after I've returned to regular training, until one day I simply forget about them only to think back on it weeks later and realize everything feels normal again. That's probably how this one'll work out as well.

Circles

Today's meet (again at Carthage) was the State Private Schools Championships, but we didn't really treat it like a serious competition. The distance runners did another one of Russ's "95%" workouts while the sprinters and throwers got some more practice in their events. The running events started off with the distance medley relay, which consisted of Jade, Kayla, Anna, and Katie H for the women and Fife, Sarabia, Ben, and Dave on the men's side. Ash and I took splits, which made me feel good because I had a contributing role in the meet. Later Guppy dominated the mile once again and numerous people teamed up in the 800. Danny got his first college track "race" under the belt with what he described as a pretty easy cruise, and Dave ran what he described as the most mileage he's done since summer.

Meanwhile, Jon got to run a few miles outside thanks to a special tape job by Russ, and I went on the bike for an hour-long workout. Afterwards I joined a few buddies to cheer on our teammates, until I eventually got bored and started taking random photos that had little if anything to do with the actual competition. I also shot some video footage of Ash getting "Spidertech" tape stuck all over his hamstring. He went on to destroy the field in heat 2 of the 3000 with a 9:06. He may have actually had the winning time overall, I'm not sure-not bad for less than a full effort. A stop at Qdoba/Noodles for dinner and some joke-telling on the busride home wrapped up yet another Saturday in the world of track and field.

Next week we go to UW Madison for the Badger Classic. The distance squad is being entered in the 1000 for our first real race of the season. With another day of cross training tomorrow, hopefully I'll be able to get into regular training and join Twiet as he comes back to school for his first college track meet. I've got karma in the 1000 too-it was the only race I placed individually in during high school (2:52 at the Northstar Classic in 2006-4th place) and one of my better races two years ago (2:48 at Northern Illinois). Let's hope that holds over through this season, at least to the point that I'm healthy enough to compete.

Captain of the Cripples

Another day, another evaluation in the training room. This time I skipped the ultrasound sessions and went only for heat therapy. Both my legs were feeling great so Russ said I could run the group E workout. Jon's knee had also improved so he joined me. It was a warm day, with temperature in the mid 30's and no significant wind. We warmed up 1 mile, then did some 2 minute intervals out to the 2.5. Jon had to slow down halfway through the 4th interval because his knee had started to hurt again, so I left him behind and continued through the 5th. My calf then began to ache so I too needed to slow it down and jog the rest of the way in. 5 miles total only seemed to make my leg worse. Russ said something about cross training tomorrow. Looks like there won't be any race for me this weekend.


Patience, patience, and more patience. And lots of ice baths.

The Monster Feeds on Failure

I joined Jon and Ash for a training session on the elliptical machines today. While some of the others seem to use cross-"training" as an excuse to pedal idly on the bike for 30 minutes while watching tv, I use it as an excuse to work harder than normal without as much risk of injury. If I'm on some sort of stationary aerobic equipment for an hour instead of running I better be sweating a lake. If I'm not then something isn't right. While avoiding the road can give specific body parts a break, the monster never rests. It doesn't sleep. It waits. It calculates. It watches, and when the moment comes it strikes. The monster uses every setback to increase its power until it either becomes unstoppable-or meets an entirely immovable obstacle.

But how can you tell if an obstacle can be moved? You have to test it in order to find out. You have to push it, again and again and again, until it either moves or it doesn't. And if it doesn't...

Sitting Out

I joined Ash, Jon, and Danny in the training room to receive ultrasound and heat therapy on two different injuries this afternoon, then jogged in the SwimEx for an hour. Russ said I should cross train until nothing hurts any more and then continue for two additional days, so it looks like I'm out at least for the rest of this week. More than 50% of the distance team is currently injured, and it's only the second week of practice. While sitting in the ice bath after practice today, Fife, Ash and I had a discussion about college athletics and what makes a good athlete. We came to the consensus that in high school, the best competitors are the ones who are willing to work the hardest and do the most training. In college and beyond, however, it simply comes down to whose body is able to take the most abuse without breaking down. Talent doesn't necessarily mean the natural ability to run fast as much as the ability to train more than your opponents without getting injured. Fife said that as an incoming freshman about a year and a half ago, one of his friends told him the hardest part about college sports is staying healthy. It's too true.

Moonwalk

I woke up this morning to meet Ash, Jon, Ben, and Fife for a 12 mile long run at 10:30.

I didn't even make it out of the parking lot. My lower legs are so sore I can hardly use them for anything, which is a bit of a predicament considering I run on my toes. To make matters worse the fitness center is completely locked up for the weekend, so I couldn't get on the bike to cross train. I ended up having to take a complete rest day instead, which is resulting in the usual endorphin withdrawal symptoms. Now it's week two of regular track practice, and instead of getting back to full health I've broken my OTHER peroneal and beat up my knee, just when I'm supposed to be passing 70 miles a week. Russ is increasing our training every week and I'm once again going backwards. I'm going to be very, very angry if we get to indoor conference and I'm in worse shape than I was on Christmas.

It's not just me either. Danny still isn't back to running and Muffenbeck also took today off due to a sore leg (although he indicated that getting hit by the weight yesterday wasn't the cause). And though he did run the 12 miles this morning, Jon was also complaining about his knee hurting and later Ash told me he "did something" to it. I know Russ has us staying off the indoor track completely in order to avoid injuries, but I'm pretty confident that the reason I can't run right now is because we haven't done a single actual track workout since last May. My body wasn't prepared for even that slow 5:08 mile yesterday since it isn't being trained for running on the track. After a week in the training room, two ultrasounds, five ice baths, one hot water whirlpool and plenty of therapuetic stretching I'm hurt worse than I was to begin with.

And yet, despite all these setbacks, I've still got one thing going in my favor. Every time I get hurt, every time I fail to finish a run, every single minute I spend on that bike letting some shattered body part rest, the monster gets stronger.

Where exactly were you trying to throw that thing?

Today's meet at Carthage was somewhat of a success, despite one incident involving a haphazardly-flying weight toss (let's just say my dodgeball skills have finally come in handy). My leg did not bother me during the mile and I was able to run a 5:08 with laughable effort. I was actually quite surprised at how little my own teammates were willing to work, even after Russ specifically told us not to run 100%. I started out keeping pace behind Jon but started to get antsy halfway throught he race when I noticed that I couldn't even hear my own breathing. I decided that Russ's "95%" would require a little bit more than a jog, so I took off and started passing people: first Jon, then Fife a lap later and eventually Ben, who surprised me by not giving chase. I wound up somewhere around 2nd place before getting passed by someone from another team on the final lap. I was tempted to blow him out of the water but saw Ashenden standing on the side of the track, holding five fingers up in my face and yelling "Nintey-five percent!" I rolled my eyes and let him go. Ash had already run 4:35 in the first heat (the rest of us were in heat 3) while hardly trying.

I really hate using meets like this as "workout" days. It seems like making a joke out of the competition to run intervals before a race, then line up on the track for what was essentially a tempo mile and finish up by heading outside for more intervals. I could tell from their form, breathing, and the cries of their coaches that many (if not all) of our opponents today were giving everything they had, actually trying to run fast. It makes me feel dirty to cross the finish and look at my competitors, bent over trying to catch their breath, and knowing that I could have easily beaten them all if I'd been trying to. Nope, I don't like it at all.

I'm going to have to get used to it though, because I think we're doing it again next week at State Privates. And I did get a decent workout from that pretend-race, as my sore calves can attest to.


Some additional details on the day:

Dave complained about an inability to relax during races (I'm not too worried, he's on pace for a much better season than last year), Tim scratched from the 200 because "the 400 happened," Justin and Brock didn't enjoy the 800 (but lit up their other, shorter events), and OUR throwers managed not to hit any innocent bystanders.

On the women's side, Guppy dominated the mile while making it look easy (probably because it was), Kate V experienced firsthand the horrors of the 600, and "The short freshman girl" seemed to have gotten a sore back from pole vault.

Everyone's back in action one week from now at the same facilities.

Patience

It is Friday, January 8th, 2010. Tomorrow is the first track meet of the season. We meet in the field house and load the bus to leave by 8:30. I have been waiting for this moment since last May. For 8 months I have been patiently waiting to avenge the epic failure that was last track season.

And I must wait at least one more week.

My peroneal tendon hasn't quite gotten with the program. The soreness still refuses to go away, so Russ has had me on the bike the past two days. I do get to run tomorrow (mile), but it will hardly be a real race. In fact, the entire distance squad is required to run a workout of 400's before the race itself, which Russ wants us to use as a sort of "95%" tempo. That "race" will then be followed by another set of 400's. I'm only doing half the normal workout due to my leg, but it will still take a lot of patience to let my opponents go at the end of that mile. Some of the others have insisted that they'll probably end up racing anyway, and I can't really say if I myself can hold back the way Russ wants us to. The main thing I'm worried about though is how well my leg holds up. If tomorrow is a success, I should be back to regular training next week. If not, I could be on the bike indefinitely. This season is starting out EXACTLY the way last year did, except for one little difference: I'm in dramatically better shape. And I won't let it fall apart. Not this time. Not again. Not here, not now, no way. This is my year. This is OUR year. So the monster may need to stay inside for a bit longer. But in another week, or two, or however many weeks it takes, that monster is coming out. And it's gonna be hungry.

What happens when you put a monster in a cage?
It grows.
It gets stronger.
It gets angry.

And it waits.

Dark Hours

The world is a sea of despair, a swirling tempest of doom that inhales and destroys the dreams of all who live in it. All bad that can happen, happens, and it replaces all the good that arrived just when you were losing faith. Why these games? Why this mockery? So much pain, so much sorrow all around... Leave it to life to take a 180 at the very moment you think everything is going great.

Dammit. Let's run.

New Year

2009 is finally over. I can't say it was a real good year. Things just haven't been working out quite right the past 12 months, so hopefully 2010 will bring new hope for better days.

Track practice begins on Monday, only 3 days away. I can't wait to see some of my teammates again. Ash has kept me in shape over break, but now that injuries are going away and my body is starting to feel a bit fresh again it's time to really get to work. 70 miles a week is only a base, a starting point from which to progress. I'm more fit now than I was at the peak of last track season, so I'm going into our very first competition looking for personal bests. And blood. This goes deeper than simply wanting to improve my times. I want more than that. I want something else, something to make myself feel like I can once again compete at a level where I'm more than just an extra notch on the winners' belts. I want revenge, revenge for all the pain, frustration, and doubt of a year ago, for every aborted practice and half-hearted race. I want to show the weaker side of me that it cannot win, that in fact it has lost, and that its putrid demands will no longer be tolerated. I want to...I will...prove to every aspect of my languid ego that the other side of me is a monster whose awakening was a very foolish mistake.